Living life as a beginner is a new concept for me. I’m preparing to go on an out-of-town trip with my daughter’s middle school class as a chaperone. Sounds fun, right? I’m starting to get a little anxious. Planning is my thing so any ends that I deem untied start making me feel overwhelmed. But as I was contemplating the questions I need to figure out, a thought came in my head… I have no idea what I’m doing. Do you ever just stop in your tracks and wonder why are we in charge of this? I have to just say it, on any given day, I have no clue what I’m really doing. Sure, I know how to do tasks and I follow directions fairly well but being left to my devices for everything is not very comfortable for me.
This Is All New
I have never been a 41-year-old woman, raising 2 kids at this age, working and healing and doing the things that are expected of me. I mean, none of us have been this version of ourselves. It’s foreign. It seems we’re all out here pretending or faking it as we go… holding on to stories of our ancestors on how to adult. But they didn’t live at this time with these problems, so it has to evolve, right? There should be more grace for all of us, don’t you think?
We’re all just living as a beginner
As kids we looked up to and are directed by so many adults. From teachers to doctors, parents to grandparents. We’re told they know what’s right and they know how to take care of us. Also, listen to them because they will keep you safe and have your best interests at heart. While the idea could be true, we are experiencing our truths through our own perspectives so versions may vary. We are all just products of others’ perception. The people who raised us or surrounded us thought their beliefs, politics, and the type of food they ate was the “right” way. Some of us had fearless leaders and others had nervous or fearful ones. All of it has a lot to do with how they believed we should show up in the world.
The adults that I looked to had a more conservative perspective. There was a specific design and it’s best to stay the course. Good education, church on Sundays, partner with the same background, continued education until a proper career, marriage and THEN kids. Finally retire comfortably, if all was done in order. At least that was what I took from it.
So obviously, when I did everything ass backwards, it added onto the idea that I was a failure. I couldn’t be successful because it was done wrong. That’s the wild part. As I continue to grow up and mature into more adulthood, I realize that all adults are full of shit. We actually don’t know what we’re talking about half the time. Sure, we know things and hopefully, that knowledge continues with time. Let’s be real, NONE of us have done this before. So unless you are nothing like me and you take everything everyone tells you as fact, then you also, are clueless.
The Freedom of Being a Beginner
Maybe we can take this idea and instead of shaming it and creating a story upon ourselves that is condemning, we embrace the not knowing. How cool is it that we actually don’t have to follow “rules” given to us from the people older and sometimes wiser. What an incredible and freeing thought to think we don’t have to follow the same path, think the same way ,or move with the same narratives. We get to do this whole thing in a way that works and is designed for us.
Out of the billions (or more…) people on this big, beautiful floating rock, we each have our own path. Some may have it completely ass backwards and there’s lessons in that. Others may be right on point, doing all the things the “right” way trying to never fail, and they will have lessons in that. Some will zig zag, or shy away, or shoot to the stars… but all of it, no matter how messy, is theirs. So, just maybe, we stop with the idea that we “can’t do that” or “not supposed to do it that way”. Unless you’re a surgeon or something, that seems like a thing to follow directions in.
Let’s try encouraging our fellow humans with “I also don’t know what I’m doing, but we can figure it out together”. I say we judge less, give more grace, and just walk each other home while living as a beginner.
