Mastering life comes with many lessons. One of the hardest lessons in life is realizing that you are in charge of how the world impacts you. Hear me out. I’m talking about the day to day. The spilled milk. The stuff going wrong at work. The burnt toast. The dog getting out and making you late for work. I’m talking about life, lifing.
Responding to Life’s Little Frustrations
You see, these events are going to happen regardless of your reaction. So here’s the choice: respond with anger and frustration, pity or victimhood OR with a calm nervous system. Every situation is different, sure, but life is always going to do what it’s going to do. We get to choose how we handle it, and that choice can significantly impact our emotional well-being and personal growth. By approaching challenges with a sense of calm and resilience, we empower ourselves to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace, transforming obstacles into opportunities for learning and self-improvement. Ultimately, it’s our response that shapes our experiences and defines who we become in the process.
The Power of Choice
This idea is an ongoing project for me. Being a work in progress, a recovering people pleaser and codependent, my moods can shift as quickly as the wind. When I realized that how I responded to any given situation actually only impacted me, it was life changing. It’s the idea of keeping “your side of the street clean”, which is a motto from AA. It essentially means, focus on yourself, your actions, your responses and worry about how you are showing up in this world and let everyone and everything do what they are going to do. The only thing we have control of is how we show up in the world. That’s it.
Practical Examples of Mastering Life
Let me give you an example. We’ve all been cut off in traffic, right? Someone nearby is in a big hurry and cuts you off on the highway. Now, you have choices in your reaction: get pissed, throw some choice words, honk OR move on. Realize that no matter your reaction, ultimately it only affects you. If you decided to rage out, you’ve now moved into a fight or flight response. Your blood pressure goes up, your heart rate increases, and your body prepares to fight by sending blood to your extremities. If this is the typical response to things that aren’t favorable, the body will be in a constant state of stress. That will cause further and more uncomfortable issues within the body.
Another example, there may be people at work repeatedly messing up. They may be making repeated mistakes and it’s creating a stressful environment. The thing is, you can have a big, angry reaction. No one will stop you and truthfully, it is probably completely valid BUT you still have a choice. The negative reaction will knock you down physically and mentally whereas choosing the thought that protects your peace not only keeps your mind in the right place but it will set the tone for whatever is to come.
The Bigger Picture
At the end of the day, mastering life means protecting your peace. Reflecting on my journey in recovery, I’ve come to understand the profound impact of focusing on what we can control. When I was caught in the cycle of drinking, it often felt like life was happening to me rather than for me. Now, with a clearer mind, I see that the real power lies in how we handle what comes our way. By choosing to control my reactions and attitudes, I’ve discovered a newfound sense of agency and peace.
What’s even more striking is how my responses shape not just my own experience but also the environment around me. When I approach challenges with patience and positivity, I create a ripple effect that touches those around me. Conversely, negative reactions can stir up tension and stress in my relationships. This interconnectedness has taught me that our personal growth and well-being are intertwined with how we influence the world and the people in it.
By focusing on what we can control—our actions, reactions, and mindset—we don’t just improve our own lives; we enhance the quality of our interactions and support the emotional health of those we care about. Embracing this perspective has been a vital part of my recovery, highlighting how our choices can foster a more positive and nurturing environment for everyone involved. Mastering life means mastering the art of walking each other home.
