Getting back to creativity- Spending the better part of 41 years people pleasing with a side of codependency and alcohol abuse can leave you feeling, well, empty. I thought once I kicked alcohol that the world would shift immediately. The sky would be brighter. The clouds would lift and birds would sing with me. It was very much a Disney fairytale that I envisioned. It wasn’t like that at all.
Life Goes On
I truly feel we are all here on our own journey so what works for some or even most may not work for you. That is an unpopular opinion in some groups but we change. We are supposed to change and grow and with that comes evolving ideas. My point is the journey doesn’t stop when you reach a destination. Just like quitting alcohol didn’t magically create a dreamy world of pure bliss, it won’t make things stop happening. Life is going to keep on lifiing.
Prepare To Fail Forward
So now is the time to get back to creativity. Remember, we are learning who we are again. We’re going back to our true, authentic selves. Before society and parental influences changed our thoughts. We are recreating the version of ourselves that was always there and that will take work and failure and experiences and rest. So much rest. All of those things are OKAY. Yes, you heard me. Failure and rest are also ok.
We can’t figure out what makes us light up if we aren’t willing to fall on our faces. Nothing is permanent. Nothing. Go ahead and marinate in that because when real joy falls into play, you need to realize that that is not a permanent state. That can feel daunting and pretty depressing but that’s why life is so incredible. We get these moments. Moments of bliss that may only last an actual minute or could last a whole season but that’s what makes them so beautiful. It’s also how we can hold onto the idea that pain, sorrow, and grief also isn’t permanent. It may last longer than we hoped but nothing lasts forever.
Getting Back to Creativity Through Exploration
In my journey of self rediscovery, I have found a few outlets that I want to share. They are messy and let’s be real, I’m learning right beside you. But they have made me feel good in a time where all I wanted was to feel something, anything. Where I was so desperate to get to know myself that I was just falling. Failing and falling while laughing and sometimes simultaneously crying. It’s all welcome.
I would have my kids pick a cake or a theme for their birthdays and I would create a version of that. I started this when I was drinking and honestly, it became a chore. It took me so much longer and my mind was fuzzy with unclear ideas. Trying this in sobriety has been so much fun! They are still so far from perfect but the kids get so excited to see what I have created for them. Finding deeper creativity and joy in an activity that I enjoyed before was such an eye opener.
Joy In Discovery
The thing is, who cares if it’s not perfect? It’s the experience that created the happiness. The excitement they feel after the reveal is what warms my heart. Maybe a cake isn’t your thing. Consider a project you haven’t thought about since you were a kid. It could be painting your room or reorganizing your closet. The point is to think about something for you. Something that lights you up and scares you a little bit. A challenge that will dig into those parts of your brain that may have been missing for awhile.
As I type this, I know how it sounds. It sounds cheesy and maybe unachievable but I’m telling you, it is. If I could reach this idea so can you. We all have access to it. So let’s take a laugh together or maybe a nod and ponder this: What was something that you loved to do before? Or if you are not dealing with sobriety, what is something you haven’t done in a really long time and would like to revisit? Or fail forward trying something new? The world is waiting for you to just be you.
