Finding clarity has been difficult this week. It’s been an unusual week. Typically, there’s a moment when inspiration strikes, allowing me to draw insights from life events and gain a new perspective. This week, however, has been challenging. The energy feels turbulent and weighty, hinting at an impending shift. I can’t help but consider: if one of my children were experiencing this—a low mood, depleted energy, emotional turmoil, or just feeling off-kilter—what would I advise them to do? What course of action would I recommend?
As adults, we understand that self-care is our responsibility, but do we truly know how to practice it effectively? When a child needs care, we instinctively observe and attend to their basic needs: hunger, fatigue, the need for affection, or simply some playtime. However, many of us fail to take the time to check in with ourselves and identify our own needs. As I navigate this strange and exhausting week, I realize I’ve been continuously giving my all to external demands—my children, household, job, and even checking on friends—but I haven’t paused to genuinely take care of myself. This reflection highlights the importance of applying the same attentive care to our own well-being that we so readily offer to others. In this process of finding clarity, I’ve come to understand the significance of self-care.
Guilt often creeps in—a nagging fear that I’ll fall behind or that my children will feel they’re not a priority. However, this very struggle presents an important lesson I want to impart to them: regardless of what’s happening in their lives or what roles they assume, they are just as valuable as anyone else. The same applies to me. It’s a reminder I need to give myself frequently: I am equally important, and my needs matter. By modeling this self-respect and self-care, I’m not only nurturing myself but also teaching my children a crucial life skill—the ability to balance caring for others with caring for oneself.
As I give myself space, it makes me think of some things. Call it a reflection of growth over the years or little nuggets of wisdom that hold me in this threshold of transition. I have learned a lot in a short time and these may be a little random, but they have offered me some peace in the chaos this week. These reflections have been instrumental in finding clarity amidst the turbulence.
- Not everything deserves or needs a response. There are politics and opinions swirling in every ounce of being. Online, radio, work, and inside our homes. There are so many opinions I want to argue for either fun or to prove something, but really, it’s not necessary. Unless it is personally hurting someone, people are entitled thoughts no matter how dumb. It is not my job to change their beliefs or criticize, just as I won’t give them the opportunity to do that to me. Boundaries! It ultimately protects my peace. Keeps me in my worth and feeling good.
- Gratitude is a never ending practice. I spent a good year or more writing in a gratitude journal. It changed my life. I could see a reality a lot of people missed and it helped bring me out some of the darkest years of my life. I was reminded how important it was this week. It’s something I am going to practice again. Pen to paper, what am I grateful for. You start to realize that even the regular things are remarkable. The things we often take for granted are the things other people pray for.
- Have Fun. I don’t know why this is the hardest one for me. I’m not sure if it’s because I can’t recall adults really having fun growing up and it’s burned into my brain that adults are the responsible ones. Responsible equals boring. Also, coming from many years where drinking and parties WERE the fun, reinventing it has been a challenge. This is also a place where being still, checking in with yourself, and creating the fun is important. It doesn’t have to be a wild night out. Painting, hiking, golfing, a meal with friends, or shopping are all great ideas and can fill those bouts of time where we just need to let go.
- Rest. Rest up buttercup. We all know sleep is important and should be prioritized but simple rest is also crucial. That could mean cat naps, Netflix binges, hammock swings, or anything that just gives your mind a place to turn off. I know it’s hard. In an age where everyone needs something or has access to you at all times, rest can feel impossible. Turn off the phone, dim the lights, make a snack, and settle in for a night that is just yours. Yes, moms, even us.
At the end of the day, we are human and need the self care and down time as our own children would. When you are feeling frazzled or it feels like everything around you is blowing up, take a 1 minute to look in. Ask yourself what it is you need, and honor that. If it is safe and best for your higher self, everything else will work itself out. Laundry and dishes can wait. The kids can eat cereal for dinner and we can breathe until the world slows down.
The world may not wait for us but it doesn’t have to. We can re enter when we’re ready and a better version of ourselves. It may take just a day but if you need longer, do it. Take care of yourself. If it’s too much to bear, ask for help. We all deserve to be loved and taken care of and it has to come from ourselves first. This process of self care and reflection is essential for finding clarity in our lives.
